Thieves’ Plummet

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Step Into The World Of Thieves’ Plummet

The smell of sulfur and musk fills your nostrils.  You wipe the beads of sweat from your brow and gaze up into the cavernous tunnel above.  A few rays of sunlight pierce through the thick smog.  Debris and bits of dust cascade from the tunnel walls above down into your poor eyes.  Blinded momentarily, you hear a gruff voice bark your name.  “..Oy you! no slaggin’ on the job. Back to work!” You grasp the handles of your shoddy pickaxe and thrust it achingly into the stone in front of you.

A mile above your head, high above the musty mine, above the sweat and the grease, above the pummels of black smoke, above the fires and the mountains of rock, above the sludge of poor city streets, an aristocracy sits atop the back of industry.  A high society reigns in splendor over the slummy factories and deep mines below.  A rich, luxurious garden hangs pristine beside a mansion grand and tall.

A Thief Comes To Tea

Miss Lady Thornbush sipped her chai through thin, sharp lips.  Red poke-a-dot spectacles balanced delicately on the end of her little up-turned nose as she enjoyed a sunny Sunday afternoon out on her rooftop patio garden.

“Humphry!?” she shouted. “Oh, Humphry!?” a tad louder.”Humphry!!!” she screamed.

“Yes, miss” he said.

“Ah, there you are. fetch me another plate of those lovely strawberry biscuits!”

“I’m sorry m’lady but you’ve ‘ad the last of them already.” he said.

“Humphry, my dear, if you can’t bring me what I ask you for then tell me.. What the devil am I paying you for?!”

“Miss.. you’re not paying me, remember?”

“Oh yes! ah ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa!” she cackled devilishly.

Just then, a violent rumbling began to shake the stilts below Lady Thornbush’s house.  The cup of earl grey sitting on the little table toppled into the Lady’s lap.

“Ah! Gordon Bennett!!  Humphry, what is happening!?” she cried.

All of a sudden the roof of the Lady’s house blew right off in an upward torrent of wind and went soaring into the sky in a thousand pieces.  Bookcases, windows, rugs, armoirs, dishes, chairs, jewels, pots and pans, various trinkets and treasures flew high into the air.

“My things! Oh… Humphry, my things! Grab them, save them Humphry!” she squealed.

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Humphry turned to look up in the sky to see if he might catch some of the Lady’s things.  He darted to and fro along the patio aisle ways.  With arms stretched wide he scurried wildly to catch everything that fell from the sky.  He caught a dish and then three bowls and then some cups and cutlery, even the Lady’s armoir fell on top of the heap of things he was collecting.  The stack grew higher and higher; ten feet, then twenty!  It teetered nervously in the wind and Humphry could barely keep his knees from buckling under the weight.  All the while, Lady Thornbush screamed and clamoured behind him, ordering him on which item he should catch next.

“Humphry, my jewels! Catch my jewels!” the lady cried.

“Yes m’lady.” he said.

With arms full and knees shaking from the weight he focused his eyes straight up on the half-ton chest of jewels that was plummeting back toward him.  It descended at an alarming velocity.  Humphry gulped and held his breath.  ‘This chest of jewels may just end me!’ he thought.  Just as the chest was about to slam into Humphry, a mysterious hooded figure swooped out of the sky above and snatched it up, whizzing right past Humphry and Miss Lady Thornbush.

“Thief!” Lady Thornbush cried. “Stop that thief!”

But it was too late!  The thief had disappeared back into the hole in the Lady’s roof.  He was long gone – back off to wherever thieves go.  Humphry dusted his hands after he’d finished stacking the items he had rescued for the Lady.  He fumbled his way across the rubble and debris, and stepped in through the busted doorway of the ruined house.  Where the parlor once sat, Humphry now saw an enormous gaping hole.  He went over to it, bent his head in, gazed downward, and reasoned that it must have stretched for miles into the earth.

“Where do you think it goes?” he said to the Lady whom he heard come in behind him.

“Hmm.. good question Humphry.. Why don’t you find out!?” she said.

And at that, she dug her red heel into Humphry’s backside and kicked him into the hole.  Humphry went tumbling down.

“And don’t come back till you’ve got my jewels!” she shouted.

“Yesss m’laaady!” he wailed.

Concept Art

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